General Worst Daddy jokes you can think off.....

[Miket12]

If the Seven Dwarfs from Snow White were farmers instead of miners, their theme song instead of "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work I go" would have been "Gnome, Gnome on the range".

And.....

What did Inspector Poirot say when he saw a dead chicken on the road? "I suspect murder so fowl".

 

[matiunz]

Why’s there no Covid-19 in Antartica?
Because it’s isolated

 

[Hardyman's Yugo]

A doctor doing his rounds in a Mental Institution. He goes into the 1st room and there's a patient going, "Brum, brum, brum, vroooom".

Doctor "What are you doing?"
Patient "Driving my ferrari!"
Doctor "You've got no car!"

The patient in the next bed say's,

"You shouldn't have told him that, I get £10.00 a week for washing that car!"

 

[Weno]

What room do ghosts always avoid?

The living room#$@?

 

[brightman]

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dog?

Chicka-chicka-bow-wow!

 

[Sup42]

My daughter pulled this one on me...so I guess it qualifies as a Dad joke.

'Why did the chicken cross the road?

'Why?

'To go and see the idiot.

..............

'Knock knock

'Whose there?

'The Chicken....'

 

[Worried2Death]

Worst thread I've ever seen.

I told my daughter this one when Shaun Johnson had one of his worst games,
"What do you call a show pony at the Warriors? A brony!! Ahahaggh".
She told me to look up brony porn, I didn't even know Shaun had a racehorse.

 

[Worried2Death]

My daughter pulled this one on me...so I guess it qualifies as a Dad joke.

'Why did the chicken cross the road?

'Why?

'To go and see the idiot.

..............

'Knock knock

'Whose there?

'The Chicken....'

She's already funnier than all of us

 

[pbrown01123]

Worst thread I've ever seen.

I told my daughter this one when Shaun Johnson had one of his worst games,
"What do you call a show pony at the Warriors? A brony!! Ahahaggh".
She told me to look up brony porn, I didn't even know Shaun had a racehorse.

I knew I shouldn't have looked... I wish I hadn't looked. Is nothing sacred?

 

[Vancent]

Did you hear about the kid who refused to nap at day care?!

He was found guilty of resisting a rest.

 

[Vancent]

I bought some shoes from mt.wellington I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day...

 

[Vancent]

I’ve spent self isolation reading a book about anti-gravity.

I've found it hard to put down.

 

[Vancent]

I ordered a chicken and an egg from trademe... I’ll let you know.

 

[Vancent]

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s table was Sir Cumference. His size came from eating too much pi.

 

[Weno]

When is it a good time to kick a midget in the nuts.

When he tells your wife her hair smells nice.

 

[gREVUS]

i personally think all dad jokes are awesome so theres no such thing as a bad one.

So here are some Awesome ones -


The Grim Reaper came for me last night but I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.


A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time....


I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin , 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!


My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70!!! Blow this , I thought , I can get one cheaper off the web.


I was at a cash machine yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance , so I pushed her over.


I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.


I was driving this morning when I saw a RACV van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself that guy's heading for a breakdown.


Statistically , 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy.


My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that , 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

 

[pbrown01123]

the daddy of daddy jokes........

55 of Tim Vine's most ingenious jokes and one-liners

Tim Vine is the absolute king when it comes to the quick-witted one-liner. Here are 55 of his very best jokes.

inews.co.uk

 

[Weno]

My dad's joke is actually some of my best material.

Just wanted to share it with my Warriors.

 

[Miket12]

Not a Daddy joke, this is courtesy of my wife:

One of my calf muscles is sore. You don’t think I have that COWVID virus?

 

[surfin]

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

Dubai doesn't like the Flintstones but Abu Dhabi Do.