Social Relationship status

Your relationship with your partner

  • Divorced

    Votes: 4 6.3%

  • Separated

    Votes: 1 1.6%

  • Re-married

    Votes: 3 4.7%

  • Single

    Votes: 5 7.8%

  • In a relationship

    Votes: 9 14.1%

  • Married < 1 yr

    Votes: 1 1.6%

  • Married 1-5 yrs

    Votes: 7 10.9%

  • Married 6-10 yrs

    Votes: 6 9.4%

  • Married 11 - 15 yrs

    Votes: 11 17.2%

  • Married + 15 yrs

    Votes: 20 31.3%
  • Total voters
    64
Kiwi In Tasmania said:
I don't really. It's just a good way to bring all the family over from NZ and celebrate our relationship with friends and family. It won't change a thing with our relationship. Unfortunately to many people think it will make it better when the relationship is already struggling.
Click to expand...
I'm no way qualified to give advice about marriage, however if I had being given advice from my mum and dad (context I am Maori, brought up by grandparents until they passed and then lived with aunties and uncles until I got married, I was 20 and she was 19 and hapu) and the worst possible thing I could have done, I put her through a living hell the first 10-15 years of our marriage, I was so dumb and stupid, immature to the max, I had to get my knowing from reading self help books, before I cottoned onto why I behaved in such a way, I learned that like attracts to like, I'm from poor socio economic background, 3 day parties and violence were the norm, gangs were normal for us both - she was from a similar environment or worse from her perspective, I wish someone could have said something to me (you're in for a hard slog and you have to be mature, if you are financially stable, and the stars align you might have a chance) , if I could go back to my 20yr old self, I would say to my younger self don't go anywhere near any kind of relationship until you're at least 30-40 years of age before even thinking about someone into your life, you will bring your baggage (dysfunctions) into the marriage, she will bring her dysfunctions to the mix as well, add in financial pressure/poverty - not the best start to a marriage, anyway my darling and I are still together which is a testament to her incredible strength and fortitude, I definitely don't have that strength, what I'm trying to say if I had to put up with what she had to I would have left in the first 5 years, the best mark I can give myself in the beginning of my marriage is I was a dumbass!! and I'm being generous. we have a whakatauaki/saying in te ao Maori " let other people say how awesome you are - the kumara doesn't speak about how sweet it is" point being my darling is my better half, she say's how awesome I am, so I suppose the best assessment of your marriage will be your partner. FYI still together despite my many faults for 40 years have 7 children and 7 grandchildren, I don't deserve such blessing's, however if you do make that decision, please don't take it lightly like I did, I thought it would be fairly easy and I was determined to make it work, but it's been the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life, if I could have only have been a lot more mature or older I would of made it so much more easier for my wife and children. only the really strong will survive, this journey it is not for the faint hearted, you will be put through the grinder, however one of the meanest things to look forward will be your grandchildren - more precious than anything in the whole wide world, just had the moko's over and guess what little Mr. aged 6. asked koro? "Koro what do you want me to be when I grow up a Warrior or a All Black?" that the fudge!!! his daddy is a union lover - no contest "A WahriaHHH" so bloody happy - fingers crossed. Good luck with your choice.
a
 
PhilsySH35 said:
I'm no way qualified to give advice about marriage, however if I had being given advice from my mum and dad (context I am Maori, brought up by grandparents until they passed and then lived with aunties and uncles until I got married, I was 20 and she was 19 and hapu) and the worst possible thing I could have done, I put her through a living hell the first 10-15 years of our marriage, I was so dumb and stupid, immature to the max, I had to get my knowing from reading self help books, before I cottoned onto why I behaved in such a way, I learned that like attracts to like, I'm from poor socio economic background, 3 day parties and violence were the norm, gangs were normal for us both - she was from a similar environment or worse from her perspective, I wish someone could have said something to me (you're in for a hard slog and you have to be mature, if you are financially stable, and the stars align you might have a chance) , if I could go back to my 20yr old self, I would say to my younger self don't go anywhere near any kind of relationship until you're at least 30-40 years of age before even thinking about someone into your life, you will bring your baggage (dysfunctions) into the marriage, she will bring her dysfunctions to the mix as well, add in financial pressure/poverty - not the best start to a marriage, anyway my darling and I are still together which is a testament to her incredible strength and fortitude, I definitely don't have that strength, what I'm trying to say if I had to put up with what she had to I would have left in the first 5 years, the best mark I can give myself in the beginning of my marriage is I was a dumbass!! and I'm being generous. we have a whakatauaki/saying in te ao Maori " let other people say how awesome you are - the kumara doesn't speak about how sweet it is" point being my darling is my better half, she say's how awesome I am, so I suppose the best assessment of your marriage will be your partner. FYI still together despite my many faults for 40 years have 7 children and 7 grandchildren, I don't deserve such blessing's, however if you do make that decision, please don't take it lightly like I did, I thought it would be fairly easy and I was determined to make it work, but it's been the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life, if I could have only have been a lot more mature or older I would of made it so much more easier for my wife and children. only the really strong will survive, this journey it is not for the faint hearted, you will be put through the grinder, however one of the meanest things to look forward will be your grandchildren - more precious than anything in the whole wide world, just had the moko's over and guess what little Mr. aged 6. asked koro? "Koro what do you want me to be when I grow up a Warrior or a All Black?" that the fudge!!! his daddy is a union lover - no contest "A WahriaHHH" so bloody happy - fingers crossed. Good luck with your choice.
a
Click to expand...

Wow, 7 kids and 7 grandchildren !!

Congratulations sir. That is what I call winning in life.
 
Insp
PhilsySH35 said:
I'm no way qualified to give advice about marriage, however if I had being given advice from my mum and dad (context I am Maori, brought up by grandparents until they passed and then lived with aunties and uncles until I got married, I was 20 and she was 19 and hapu) and the worst possible thing I could have done, I put her through a living hell the first 10-15 years of our marriage, I was so dumb and stupid, immature to the max, I had to get my knowing from reading self help books, before I cottoned onto why I behaved in such a way, I learned that like attracts to like, I'm from poor socio economic background, 3 day parties and violence were the norm, gangs were normal for us both - she was from a similar environment or worse from her perspective, I wish someone could have said something to me (you're in for a hard slog and you have to be mature, if you are financially stable, and the stars align you might have a chance) , if I could go back to my 20yr old self, I would say to my younger self don't go anywhere near any kind of relationship until you're at least 30-40 years of age before even thinking about someone into your life, you will bring your baggage (dysfunctions) into the marriage, she will bring her dysfunctions to the mix as well, add in financial pressure/poverty - not the best start to a marriage, anyway my darling and I are still together which is a testament to her incredible strength and fortitude, I definitely don't have that strength, what I'm trying to say if I had to put up with what she had to I would have left in the first 5 years, the best mark I can give myself in the beginning of my marriage is I was a dumbass!! and I'm being generous. we have a whakatauaki/saying in te ao Maori " let other people say how awesome you are - the kumara doesn't speak about how sweet it is" point being my darling is my better half, she say's how awesome I am, so I suppose the best assessment of your marriage will be your partner. FYI still together despite my many faults for 40 years have 7 children and 7 grandchildren, I don't deserve such blessing's, however if you do make that decision, please don't take it lightly like I did, I thought it would be fairly easy and I was determined to make it work, but it's been the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life, if I could have only have been a lot more mature or older I would of made it so much more easier for my wife and children. only the really strong will survive, this journey it is not for the faint hearted, you will be put through the grinder, however one of the meanest things to look forward will be your grandchildren - more precious than anything in the whole wide world, just had the moko's over and guess what little Mr. aged 6. asked koro? "Koro what do you want me to be when I grow up a Warrior or a All Black?" that the fudge!!! his daddy is a union lover - no contest "A WahriaHHH" so bloody happy - fingers crossed. Good luck with your choice.
a
Click to expand...
Great story and message.

You have had some challenges but learned so much! Make sure to pass those message onto your children and grandys as it’s powerful and life changing.
 
PhilsySH35 said:
I'm no way qualified to give advice about marriage, however if I had being given advice from my mum and dad (context I am Maori, brought up by grandparents until they passed and then lived with aunties and uncles until I got married, I was 20 and she was 19 and hapu) and the worst possible thing I could have done, I put her through a living hell the first 10-15 years of our marriage, I was so dumb and stupid, immature to the max, I had to get my knowing from reading self help books, before I cottoned onto why I behaved in such a way, I learned that like attracts to like, I'm from poor socio economic background, 3 day parties and violence were the norm, gangs were normal for us both - she was from a similar environment or worse from her perspective, I wish someone could have said something to me (you're in for a hard slog and you have to be mature, if you are financially stable, and the stars align you might have a chance) , if I could go back to my 20yr old self, I would say to my younger self don't go anywhere near any kind of relationship until you're at least 30-40 years of age before even thinking about someone into your life, you will bring your baggage (dysfunctions) into the marriage, she will bring her dysfunctions to the mix as well, add in financial pressure/poverty - not the best start to a marriage, anyway my darling and I are still together which is a testament to her incredible strength and fortitude, I definitely don't have that strength, what I'm trying to say if I had to put up with what she had to I would have left in the first 5 years, the best mark I can give myself in the beginning of my marriage is I was a dumbass!! and I'm being generous. we have a whakatauaki/saying in te ao Maori " let other people say how awesome you are - the kumara doesn't speak about how sweet it is" point being my darling is my better half, she say's how awesome I am, so I suppose the best assessment of your marriage will be your partner. FYI still together despite my many faults for 40 years have 7 children and 7 grandchildren, I don't deserve such blessing's, however if you do make that decision, please don't take it lightly like I did, I thought it would be fairly easy and I was determined to make it work, but it's been the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life, if I could have only have been a lot more mature or older I would of made it so much more easier for my wife and children. only the really strong will survive, this journey it is not for the faint hearted, you will be put through the grinder, however one of the meanest things to look forward will be your grandchildren - more precious than anything in the whole wide world, just had the moko's over and guess what little Mr. aged 6. asked koro? "Koro what do you want me to be when I grow up a Warrior or a All Black?" that the fudge!!! his daddy is a union lover - no contest "A WahriaHHH" so bloody happy - fingers crossed. Good luck with your choice.
a
Click to expand...
A very enjoyable read

You have proven that you are a strong man and you are lucky to be loved by a strong woman

All the best for the many years you will enjoy together in the future.
 
marv. said:
12 years?!
i would say at this point you’ve probably gotten away with it mate.
well played.
haha
Click to expand...
Yeah.....particulary sensitive subject in the last year given both her sister and best friend re-married. :oops:

Damn....the laser beam eyes i was getting from her at those weddings (reminded me so much of those scenes in Kill Bill when Uma Thurman has those flashbacks and that crazy music starts i changed that to my ringtone for her 👿)

......probably didnt help i disappeared during one of those weddings cause the Warriors were playing
 
I implore most men to watch this guys videos, ignore the name. I also suggest going to LevelCheck AI and doing the AQAL tests. It will greatly enhance your relationships and yourself.

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Nothing to say on this subject from a personal level except that I've learnt enough to be a bit suss when Partner A is too public and effussive about their love for Partner B. I mean, Partner A, of course you love Partner B, why be so loud about it...?

And then the divorce/relation breakup is announced...
 
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