Bit of tongue in cheek Christmas wish lists from the web...
The secret Christmas wishes of NRL coaches
SANTA Claus will be visiting all 16 NRL coaches tonight, and he might deliver a much-needed gift or two.
Here are some possible Christmas wishes:
A player who can close out a game, or at least gain a repeat set of six when a result is in the offing.
Losing seven of their final eight matches in 2012 is evidence that someone like veteran Scott Prince is a most valuable gain.
A mouth guard and lie detector for James Graham.
Surely Jimmy - and maybe his mum - is the only person who believed he did not bite Billy Slater in the grand final.
We might be descendants of convicts James, but we do have eyes.
A dictionary for James Tamou so he can grasp the meaning of loyalty.
He re-signed with the Cowboys out of loyalty - a fine gesture - but Kiwis will not forget his lack of allegiance when choosing to play for the Kangaroos, ahead of his country of birth.
: Coach Steve Price hopes to wake tomorrow morning with a Johnathan Thurston lookalike in his stocking.
With skipper Ben Hornby retired and likely replacement Kyle Stanley already gone for 2013, the Dragons desperately need an on-field director.
: Ricky Stuart is so focused and determined that he would probably consider anything from Santa outside assistance.
Besides, after missing out on Israel Folau, Stuart appreciates that gifts from above are unrealistic anyway.
: Just want big Nathan Tinkler to pay the bills, and on time.
The big fella may have saved the Knights 12 months ago, but unless he either parts with some assets or finds a quick-fix cash-flow business, Benny's boys may soon be back to square one.
A new mop and bucket so Phil Gould and Ivan Cleary can continue clearing the decks.
They used 33 players in 2012, 10 of them have gone and a dozen newcomers have joined the ranks. Changing the culture, however, will take some time.
Copious DVDs of Russell Crowe movies including his first, The Crossing, so the boys at Redfern can never forget their Gladiator, the man who transformed their club.
Maybe they might miss Russell a tad more than big Dave Taylor
How about 26 premiership games from skipper Terry Campese - now that would be a gift.
And a start to 2013 that mirrored their finish to 2012 would be applauded by David Furner and his new assistant, Brett Kimmorley.
Just a premiership thanks, their first after 46 years.
And with a cast of a thousand stars joining a line-up that finished seventh this past season, great expectations abound.
Gallen and Carney, however, remain the two main men.
With a new coach, new chief executive and new skipper, the Roosters already have an abundance of shiny toys in their stocking.
Perhaps coach Trent Robinson could utilise a big stick to bring Sonny Bill back to earth, and a strong skipper to control his ego.
A Melbourne Storm blueprint so Geoff Toovey can turn blokes on the scrapheap in to premiership winners, as Craig Bellamy does year after year.
Of their dozen newcomers, not one could be considered an NRL regular.
The only club that failed to send off a request to the big man in the red suit - it needed nothing in particular.
The genius coach probably thinks all his Christmases came at once the year he received Cameron Smith, Cooper Cronk and Billy Slater.
Where does Santa start?
Maybe in the boardroom, where the squabbling is at fever pitch?
A Lotto win, so they can pay sacked coach Tim Sheens?
Or a position for expensive new buy Braith Anasta? Help Santa, help.
Anyone who can fit in to a No.7 jersey, can kick tactically, has good hands and has actually played halfback previously with some success.
And a series of work ethics lessons for Dave Taylor
and Jamal Idris.
The identical request to every other year - to play to their potential and make Mt Smart Stadium a graveyard for visiting teams.
The Warriors make coach killing an art form, with newcomer Matt Elliott their ninth in 19 seasons.
A very NRL Christmas
Intrepid correspondent Adam Lucius has been given special access to the letter the NRL sent to Santa this year. The results may be surprising.
We know we're cutting it fine but here's our NRL wishlist for all 16 clubs ahead of the 2013 season - hand-delivered by some bloke with a Welsh accent who wanted to know if Cameron Thurston was going to stay at North Sydney or shift to the Canberra Bulldogs.
Christmas came early for the Broncos in the shape of the 2013 draw, which has them playing more Friday nights than a cheap covers band. Some of the younger players were unaware until recently that MNF stands for Monday Night Footy and not Match Next Friday.
A premiership for Blake Ferguson. Well, he did move to Canberra to win a comp because apparently they stood a better chance than former club Cronulla. Just don't remind Fergy. The last bloke who did copped a gobful at a music festival.
An apocalyptic replay. Des Hasler is filthy the Mayans got it wrong because he was well prepared for the end of the world, planning to bunker the Bulldogs down in their Belmore survival chamber in the hope they would ride out Armageddon and emerge as the only contender for the 2013 crown.
Another drama-filled year at Wests Tigers. That should help deliver Benji Marshall and Robbie Farah to the Shire and the takeover will be complete. The Sharks are like the bloke who watches a couple have a blue before moving in to console the female with a reassuring word, arm around the shoulder and lecherous intentions.
A cattle prod for Jamal Idris. We're not sure if he's still on the Titans' books but, if so, would someone mind ringing the big fella and remind him he was signed as an impact player. If he's no longer playing, we apologise for asking.
A new house. Brookie Oval is as dilapidated as some of Manly's ageing forwards but there is no love or money from government to renovate. The situation is that bad the corporate area resembles a toilet. Oh wait, the toilet is the corporate area.
An explanation for the existence of Cooper Cronk's website. Anyone?
Just some cash in a card with a few scratchies thrown in would be handy. Nathan Tinkler hasn't done it this tough since they banned him from the all-you-can-eat buffet at Toronto Workers Club.
The immediate closure of Townsville Airport. That might be the only way to keep Johnathan Thurston in the tropics.
A drama-free day/week/month/year. The Eels have watched Israel Folau walk out on them, sacked an under-20s player for decking Reni Maitua, let Jamil Hopoate go for discipline breaches and are now sweating his bro Will doesn't renege on his 2014 deal. All this and we're still more than two months way from the season kick-off. But all that drama will look a minor skirmish compared to what will unfold if Chris Sandow stinks the joint up on Ricky Stuart's watch.
Something, anything. Phil Gould returned to the golden west promising great change. And, to be fair, there was change - crowds dropped and the team went from 12th to 15th. Gus may have to give the Panthers one of his Origin-like orations while walking through the rain in an expensive suit.
St George Illawarra:
Alternative employment for Steve Price. Surely he won't see out the season if the Dragons start poorly. Even if they do okay, it appears Craig Bellamy is already suited up for the gig beyond 2013. Saints officials deny Price's job is in danger so you can start counting the days until the axe falls.
A fifth Burgess. What's not to love?
A cure for Sonny Bill Williams' sporting ADHD. SBW's inability to sit still for more than 90 seconds will have Roosters' officials sweating it out to see if he lasts longer than a parking spot at Bondi Beach. The former All Black has pledged his loyalty for at least the 2013 season, which equates to a lifetime deal in SBW's world.
An interpreter for Matt Elliott. We can't wait to find out what Manu Vatuvei and Co make of Elliott's penchant for quoting ancient philosophers and blending sections of Sun Tzu's Art of War into match plans. The Beast has a hard enough time catching the ball without trying to unlock the coach's riddles within a conundrum.
A competent divorce lawyer to split Tim Sheens from Stephen Humphries. The pair remains in the same bed but with suitcases down the middle to mark each other's patch. Meanwhile, Mick Potter waits uncomfortably in the spare room.